Movie review: The Man from U.N.C.L.E

Reviewed by Gerti

I’ll start by explaining that I’ve seen a number of James Bond movies, but most of those were in college, which was more than a few years ago. I haven’t enjoyed any movies from that shop-worn franchise since the late ‘80s, so it comes as a complete surprise to me how much I enjoyed watching “The Man From UNCLE.” I thought it sounded like the same sort of sexist drivel that constitutes the non-car-chasey parts of the Bond films, yet I found UNCLE much funnier, much more appealing, and can’t wait for the sequel to this movie, if there is one. Yes, please!

This movie reminds me of Bond films, as there are exotic locations, scads of leather-clad thugs who want to do harm to the movies principal actors, and of course, some major enemy baddie of the US to hate. But what makes this Guy Ritchie directed movie different is – the tone. The male principals are Napoleon Solo (played ever so handsomely by Henry Cavill) and Illya Kuryakin (played effectively enough by Armie Hammer). I know there are some ladies who would argue with me, but I think where the Bond movies fall down is that, with the exception of Pierce Brosnan, none of the actual 007’s have been attractive. I won’t use the term coined by some of the feminists in the ‘70s to describe such a man, but let’s just call him dateable. The Bond films are implausible to me, because I could never see swooning over (or getting to second base with) any of the guys who played Bond. This movie, however, is a horse of a different color.

Guy Ritchie seems to understand that what will bring in a female audience hungry for adventure is sexy male actors, and this movie has them in spades. I find Cavill to be Grecian in his perfection, and even one of the villians was yummy-enough to watch. Female protagonist Alicia Vikander was also a positive – cute, but not so gorgeous that any viewer would feel intimidated. I loved the large amount of German spoken in the movie, since Vikander is originally working in East Germany as a mechanic. Yes, the movie is set in the cold war, so it’s Capitalism versus Communism, Solo vs. Kuryakin. But to me, it’s brunette versus blonde, as both male leads are attractive in their own way. Wowza!

And the dialogue! This film feels so modern, with the sex-appeal set to sizzle, but without all the overt sleaziness that makes Bond films so distasteful to women. It’s the men who are the sex objects in this flick, and that’s just fine by me! I won’t even bother summarizing the plot, because it’s secondary (or even tertiary) to what really matters in this movie – hot men running around the world being clever. There is even a scene where they argue about fashion! Be still my heart! And for the older ladies, Hugh Grant plays a British agent. Color me satisfied!

Does it all make sense? I don’t really care. Cavill in a finely tailored suit is all I need for hours of enjoyment, and whatever atomic device is being built or stolen, I could give a flying donut’s worth. This movie is eye candy raised to the nth degree, and I thank the director for recognizing women buy movie tickets, too.